Last night I had a cancer dream. I've had a couple in the past, but this one was seemingly so real. I woke up at 3:30 this morning in a panic, feeling my throat and checking my saliva for blood. And of course it was the worst of cancer in this dream. I haven't really talked about the aftereffects-- psychologically, that is-- of having this disease. Even though I got lucky and beat cancer, I still find it hard to comprehend what I went through and that I'm still here. Honestly, I sometimes feel guilty that I survived while so many of my friends didn't.