Thursday, December 17, 2009

Cancer dream



Last night I had a cancer dream.  I've had a couple in the past, but this one was seemingly so real. I woke up at 3:30 this morning in a panic, feeling my throat and checking my saliva for blood.  And of course it was the worst of cancer in this dream. I haven't really talked about the aftereffects-- psychologically, that is-- of having this disease.  Even though I got lucky and beat cancer, I still find it hard to comprehend what I went through and that I'm still here.  Honestly, I sometimes feel guilty that I survived while so many of my friends didn't.

6 comments:

  1. I can so understand that.
    God has plans for you.

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  2. I have not been through the horror that you have experienced; so I would never be so arrogant to assume that I understand the guilt you feel.........but I agree with Alison; God has much work for you to do on behalf of those "working class heroes" that are doing their best to survive in this economy; and BAM..they are told they have cancer; and it' incurable.
    You are PROOF that there are other ways, better ways, complimentary ways to treat this insidious disease; and you survived so that YOU can be the catalyst for REAL REFORM....to let people know the complimentary and alternative treatments.....
    God blessed you and spared you to be His Ambassador of Justice and Truth in the fight for a cure and for treatments of cancer in this backward country we live in. God spared you to be His Angel of Hope to those you reach out to on a daily basis, here in this blog, on facebook, by phone, by email...by whatever it takes; to hurting souls, bodies and hearts.
    I, for one; and so happy God spared you and to call you my friend.

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  3. Brett: Sorry for your awful dream, but alas, only a dream. You are here for a reason, God has a purpose & a reason for you being here. The way you have inspired other's, given them encouragement & strength to continue is a wonderful gift you have given them. I, for one, am so very glad that your work here is not done yet & won't be for a very long time. I am so glad we reconnected & that somehow, someway, hopefully we can help you through this journey you are on. Not only am I honored to call you my friend, I feel that those who know you will attest to the fact that their lives are better for having you in it. You are amazing & the way you reach out to everyone is truly inspirational. Keep smiling & doing what you are doing, you have made a profound difference in a lot of lives. Hope all is well, take care, a very Merry Christmas to you & your family & I hope to see you sometime soon. God bless you, my friend.

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  4. (aka Michelle Larson Mundell) Brett I am sorry to hear about the dream. I have to agree with the others that you have been healed of cancer to be able to share what is available to others, and to be an advocate for those who are unable to be. It was super meeting you at Beatlesfest in Chicago and I am looking forward to seeing you there, still cancer free and looking marvelous. Merry Christmas to you and yours. 2010 is going to be a great year.

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  5. Brett, to feel guilty for surviving is a common malady, and saddest because it afflicts those who have enough to grieve for. Never feel guilty because you are a beacon helping to guide other sufferers to salvation. Sounds almost religious...sorry. ;-) But,seriously, must believe deeply you are part of the solution for so many others. I'm very proud to know you.

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  6. There is a reason why you are still with us.
    Those of us that have been touched by cancer; even when we aren't the ones fighting also have these dreams. I have really weird dreams about my dad who will be gone 4 years on 2/6. Treatment has changed so much since he fought.

    I'm glad that you chose to fight instead of listening to your doctors and giving up. You have a very strong will; and with the gift of time that you have been given, you have touched so many lives; like mine & my hubby's.

    We thank you Brett.

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